What to Do When a Person Living With Dementia Repeats the Same Thing Over and Over
- Mark Synot
- Dec 13, 2025
- 2 min read
If you’re caring for someone living with dementia, you’ve probably heard the same question—or the same story—many times in a single day. “When are we eating?” … “Where’s my purse?” … “Did you call the doctor?” This repetition can be one of the most stressful behaviors for caregivers. While it may test your patience, it’s important to understand why it happens, what your loved one is truly trying to find out, and how you can respond in ways that ease both their anxiety and your stress.
Why Repetition Happens
Repetition in dementia isn’t about being difficult. It’s usually a sign of an unmet need or deeper concern. Common reasons include:
Memory loss – They may not remember asking a few minutes ago.
Anxiety or fear – Repeating questions can provide comfort.
Comfort in routine – Familiar words are soothing.
Difficulty with time – They may not realize how much time has passed.
What They’re Really Asking
Often, the words aren’t the whole story. For example:
“When are we eating?” might really mean: “I need reassurance that my needs will be met.”
“Where’s my purse?” could mean: “I’m scared of losing control or independence.”
“Did you call the doctor?” may reflect: “I’m worried about my health and need to know I’m being cared for.”
Understanding the feeling behind the words helps you respond with empathy instead of
frustration.
The Impact on Caregivers
For caregivers, repeated questions can feel draining. You may feel frustrated, guilty, or worn down by answering over and over. These feelings are normal. The key is to find strategies that meet your loved one’s needs while protecting your own wellbeing.
Strategies That Help
1. Stay Calm and Patient
Even when it’s the tenth time you’ve heard the question, a gentle tone and kind body language go a long way.
2. Give Simple, Consistent Answers
Clear, repeated responses build reassurance: “Dinner is at 6 o’clock.”
3. Use Visual Reminders
Calendars, whiteboards, or sticky notes reduce anxiety: “Doctor’s appointment: 2 p.m.”
4. Redirect With Activities
Engage them in something comforting or meaningful—folding towels, looking through photos, or listening to music.
5. Clarify and Affirm Feelings
If you sense anxiety behind the question, acknowledge it. For example:
“You seem worried about missing dinner. Don’t worry—I’ll be here with you, and we’ll eat together at 6.”
“I know you’re anxious about your purse. Remember, it’s always in your memory hub place—the spot where you make sure to put it. You can trust it’s there.”
This approach validates emotions, not just words, and helps your loved one feel understood and secure.
6. Take Breaks for Yourself
Stepping outside, calling a friend, or arranging respite care gives you space to recharge. Your wellbeing matters too.
Final Thought
When a person with dementia repeats themselves, they may not just be asking for information—they may be asking for comfort. By listening beneath the words, clarifying their worry, and affirming their feelings, you provide reassurance that goes deeper than a simple answer.
Repetition is often the voice of anxiety. Meeting it with patience, empathy, and validation strengthens both your caregiving role and your loved one’s sense of safety.
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